There are three easy rules to use during a change exchange. Once you master one rule, move onto the next. Each rule will provide a smaller efficiency gain than the previous one. Once you have mastered these three change-giving rules, just get on with life. The benefits to further refined change-giving tactics are too small. Move onto other self-improvement guides.
When the cashier tells you the price, focus on the cents. We will refer to the first digit after the decimal point as “tens of cents” (tenths of a dollar), and refer to the second digit after the as decimal point as “ones of cents” (hundredths of a dollar).
Rule 1: Always Give Exact Pennies
Always give the exact number of pennies, up to 4, that match the “ones of cents”. This simply means that if the “ones of cents” in the price is 1 through 4, give the cashier that many pennies. If the “ones of cents” is 6 through 9, simply subtract 5 and give that many pennies. This table shows how many pennies you should unload in each “ones of cents” situation.
This is a defensive move to avert getting pennies back from the cashier. This one rule will lighten your coin carry load and gradually work off your home coin stash. Once you have mastered this, move onto more advanced tactics to work off the home coin stash more quickly.
Rule 2: Substitute 5 Pennies for a Nickel
In situations where you would otherwise use a nickel, substitute 5 pennies. These are in addition to whatever pennies you disbursed while following Rule 1. Only give a maximum of 9 pennies per cashier. Any more than 9 pennies makes you annoying.
For this ploy to work gracefully, it must appear as if you simply don’t have a nickel and are forced to resort to pennies. It is an affront to the cashier to blatantly force her to absorb pennies for your personal convenience. This will often provoke a penny ricochet, whereby the cashier gives you back those same 5 extra pennies in your change, along with a condescending smirk at your innumeracy. How humiliating.
If using a Coin Sorter, either:
A) conceal it to hide any nickels you may have when attempting this technique; or,
B) simply distract the cashier from your deviousness with the sheer brilliance of the Coin Sorter.
Rule 3: Trade Nickels for Dimes
As shown in the coin weight efficiency table, reproduced to the right, dimes and quarters are America’s most weight-efficient coins in common circulation. While the penny purge is your top priority, a nickel reduction is also worthy of your consideration. Strive towards holding only dimes and quarters. To that end, substitute two nickels for one dime whenever possible. Call it the “pair o’ nickles paradigm”.
There is no need to trade dimes for quarters. Dimes are just as weight-efficient as are quarters. You can get within 4 cents of most prices by using just quarters and dimes, and without accumulating any new nickels. Add just one nickel to your Coin Sorter arsenal and you’re within 4 cents of all prices.
Any large accumulation of dimes and quarters will naturally melt away from tolls, vending machine purchases and your intuitive understanding of their value. Just follow the three rules above and you’ll have reached the point of diminishing returns in your change optimization quest.
Reducing that Home Coin Stockpile
From following each above rule
in every retail payment duel,
coin pile no more
oh and also your
pocket don’t jingle you fool
(For best results, use a Coin Sorter.)
Your Coin Sorter will hold less change each evening than you started with in the morning. Therefore you’ll need to restock your Coin Sorter regularly.
Daily replenishment ensures you never end up completely coin-less. Evenings are best for restocking, as that leaves you with one fewer task to remember each harried morning. If you’re working off a pile of change at home, stock your Coin Sorter in this sequence:
First: fill up the penny slot, then
Then: add three of each silver coin type, and
Finally: add as many more silver pieces as you wish until the Coin Sorter reaches the maximum weight you feel comfortable carrying in your pocket or purse.
Once that home coin pile is fully depleted, you’re in maintenance mode. Then you can reduce your daily pre-load and be more merciful towards the cashiers in your life.